The Main Thread

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In a bustling and scenic port town you will find a trail snaking through the forest near by. After a short walk, you will come across a humble log cabin, surrounded by a calm river and beds of flowers. While the building appears to be nothing more than a cabin from the outside, it is actually so much more.

Inside is a mansion, large and beautiful. An endless amount of rooms await you, containing all sorts of things. Everything is endless. Food will never run out, water will always continue to run, the electricity will never die, nothing that breaks will ever stay broken. Greatest of all, no one who dies within the mansion stays dead. Within those walls, it is entirely reversible.

No one knows how the proprietor has made such a marvel, but many clamor to stay within its walls. Some hope for a luxurious visit, while others hope for grand battles, the kind that can only be found in a place where death is meaningless. Despite the high cost of entering, many are willing to do whatever it takes to get inside.

Welcome to the grandest hotel in the universe.

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*On the trail is quite an odd troupe. A troupe of large penguin-like creatures surrounded Two young girls, a demonic looking one and an angelic foil. The girls were in the middle of a conversation.*

Etna: So that's when the Prince got angry and blew up his own castle... Pretty stupid.

Flonne: Yes! It's true!

Etna: Of course it's true! You were there, you should know this.

Flonne: Oh, you're right! But then why are you telling me this?

Etna: Oh you know, it's a recap in case the viewers missed the last episode or something.

Flonne: I see! ... But what if they missed the recap?

Etna: Pfft, that will never happen. Hey! One of you prinnies, are we there yet?

Prinny #1: Ah! Master Etna dood, we should be here but there's only a cabin. *And so the penguin creature points at a cabin with its flipper, sweat dripping.*

Etna: ... You've got to be joking. Humans are pathetic but I didn't think this would be the best resort they could offer! This is just...

The Main Thread Flonne-3

: This is wonderful! I've can't beleive we'll actually be staying here! It's like an outdoor adventure, except... indoors! Oh we can put on the tea and listen to it whistle when the water is boiling and... and...

The Main Thread Flonne-2

: Actually there isn't much we can do, is there?

Etna: ... No not really. *She grabs a prinny by the top of its head, lifting it up as it squirms wildly.*

Hey. This isn't an A-class resort. *She smiles, plainly angry.*

Prinny #1: B-but this is where the map and portal led to dood! I swear, there were even pictures of the inside in the brochure! It was like, fifty times bigger than this do- I mean, Master Etna! *The prinny corrects itself as Etna's fingers clench.*

Etna: ... I'll let you off this one time since it doesn't seem to be your fault. But you mess up again, and you'll be building me a hotel! All of you! *She makes a sweeping motion at the dozens of penguin creatures, who make a sharp salute in return.*

Besides, it's getting late. We'll see what they have in there. And if it's not fit to sleep in, we'll just blow it up, that's all. *Her anger apparantly forgotten, or at least put aside for the moment, Etna, along with Flonne and the Prinnies, head for the cabin's door...*

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Mist: *Just a young teenage girl, kneeling in a bed of flowers. Beside her is a watering can that has gone rusty with use. Her attention is turned to the group emerging from the forest. They don't notice her at first, so she takes a moment to stand, her gloved hands smoothing down her skirt and wiping sweat from her brow*

"Excuse me?" *She smiles at them* "You're all here for the hotel, right?"

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Etna: ... Yeah, that's right. What's up with this cheap garbage dump? *Disgruntled*

Flonne: Etna! That's very rude! *Flonne approaches Mist, offering her hand* I'm sorry, this is a very nice dump! I think it's wonderful garbage dump hotel!

Etna: You sound worse than I do Flonne. *A snickering smirk as she rests a hand on her hip.*

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Mist: *If their words bugged her, she didn't show it* "Ah, well." *She removes a glove, shaking Flonne's hand* "I think I understand your disappointment. Not everyone knows everything about this place." *She checks her watch and grabs the watering can*

"I promise you that it will live up to your expectations! Let me just take you inside. I shouldn't still be out here anyway."

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Flonne: Dissapointment? No! Not at all, I'm very happy you made a hotel at a garbage dump!

Etna: Flonne, this isn't a garbage dump.

Flonne: It isn't? But you said it was. Etna, you lied? Lying is very wrong! It hurts people you know?

Etna: ... I was insulting the place. *Squints*

Flonne: It's very wrong Etna! Think of all the actual garbage dump hotels! They might be offended.

Etna: Flonne, there aren't any hotels at garbage dumps. Even if they were, no one would want to go there!

Flonne: That's not fair! Don't crush all the hopes and dreams they've worked so hard for!

Etna: WHO worked so hard for these hopes and dreams Flonne? Who! Name one person!

The Main Thread Flonne-2

: ... ... Garbage Dump Hotel managers?

Etna: *She sighs pointedly, shoulders drooping and hands hanging forward.* Okay gardener girl, let's go. Show us the inside, anything is better than talking to this angelic blockhead.

Flonne: Oh that's so silly Etna, my head isn't a block!

Prinny #2: *Whispers to another prinny* Dood we need some popcorn for this!

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Mist: *She's still smiling and looking a tad amused* "Alright then!" *She heads up the steps, moving past the Prinnies* "Well then, I guess I should say welcome?" *She opens the door, leading everyone inside to the grand lobby. A quick look back out the door would show the exact same door and steps. How the lobby alone is as big as what the cabin appeared to be is a complete mystery*

*Mist giggles, as if she knew a secret that no one else did* "And here he comes."

Ike: *Not much older than Mist, and wearing a suit that appears just a bit too small for him. He walks out from the other end of the lobby, nervously adjusting his tie, his eyes rolling over everyone who just entered the lobby* "Ah, uhh." *He takes a breath* "Everyone's right on time." *He looks to Mist suddenly* "But what are you doing, Mist?"

Mist: *She winks at Ike, walking over to his side* "Oh, just working some overtime."

Ike: *He stares at her for a moment, looking a bit confused* "Well, okay then." *He walks up to Etna* "Miss..." *He takes a moment* "Etna, right?"

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Prinny #3: Dood it's huge! *Rushes past Ike, and along with the mob of Prinnys, trample everywhere. Oh hey, there's one hanging from the chandalier.*

Etna: Woah... This place is... Pretty dang fitting! It'll be nice to relax...

Prinny #whocares: Uh, Master Etna dood, don't you find it odd that he knows your name?

Etna: So what? I'm a great demon, of course all humans know my name! Demon Queen Etna! *Etna glances at Ike* So this place doesn't really have any rules, right? It sure doesn't follow the laws of physics, somehow.

Flonne: Somehow? It's magic, Etna! A tiny cabin inside a port forest is a mansion! Lovely, love-filled magic, I'm sure! I bet its run off of the love of all the children who wish for Santa Claus!

Etna: Keep telling yourself that Flonne. We're not in the north pole.

The Main Thread Flonne-3

Etna, don't be ridiculous! People all over the world beleive in Santa Claus! It's a bright burning ho-

Prinnies: Doods! WE FOUND THE FRIDGE! *A parade of prinnies march on by, each with some fruit, vegetable, cheesetick, or some other snack.

*Flonne, who had been distracted, turns to see this intruption and runs off to find the said fridge.*

Etna: ... So no rules, right? Because I'm not cleaning up the mess those prinnies are making.

Prinny: *Swinging from the chandalier, the prinny makes sounds of excitement and wonder! Such a huge palace, dood, and he could explore all he wanted! And then he accidently fell off the swinging chandelier, flying through the air and hitting the ground.

Kaboom!

The Prinny turns into a small explosion, as Prinnies do when they fall from large heights or are thrown.*

Etna: ... I'm also not paying for any damage they do.

*A group of Prinnies hold a funeral procession, apparantly having found a musical kazoo*

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*Suddenly, have a sword materialize and fall right in the middle of the lobby of the place, sticking upright perfectly with the blade in the ground. The hilt of the blade is a radiant gold and the blade a piercing white, yet it's emitting a pretty strong aura that can probably be felt by anyone who goes near it. On top of that, the sword is moving ever-so-slightly, jiggling to the left and right in a vain attempt to get out of the wooden prison it's stuck in. Faintly audible are some miscellaneous grunts, as though the sword itself were some kind of living thing in a very uncomfortable position.*

*Meanwhile, any various assorted objects that decorate the lobby seem to be moving on their own and going back into place, as though an invisible man were inspecting them one at a time and moving them around, just testing some stuff out. Surely a place like this needs a phantom, after all; what's a mysterious hotel without a ghost story? However, he's not being very subtle about it...then again, perhaps he's not trying to be.*

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Prinny #Someone: Doods! We're under attack!

Prinny #Something: I know dood! Run for it!

Prinny #Somehow: Way ahead of you dood! *Built a fort out of two couches and couch pillows*

Etna: *She keeps a distance and stares at the sword, tail whisking and body leaning forward.* I know better than to get close to weird things.

Flonne: Etna! They have a fruit-basket hat with REAL fruit! *Is wearing such a ridiculous thing.*

Etna: ... I stand corrected, weird things surround me.

Flonne: Hey, it is pretty weird in here! Hello floating objects! Hello shaking sword! Are you all afraid? Do you need a hug? *Opens arms*

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Shaking Sword: *faintly, still wobbling slightly* H-huh..? No, I don't need a hug, you dolt...listen, just, do me a favor and pick this thing up, ok? It's really cramped in here, and I'm stuck. As usual. I don't know who you are, but, just, pick me up and everything will be fine and dandy. Or something. ...You wouldn't happen to have anything to drink, would you?

The Objects: *continue to move*

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Flonne: Pick up a sword? But I have D efficiency at them, that's really bad! I'm better at guns or bows or staves!

Etna: *Looks around at the floating objects then back at the sword.* Hey. What kind of sword are you anyways?

Flonne: Oh! I want to know too! Where do you come from? What are your hobbies? Do you beleive in the power of love? Have something to drink!

*Holds out a juicebox to the sword.

...

And keeps holding it out.*

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Ike: *Grimaces at Mist, who is only laughing at the sudden chaos* "There aren't any rules per se, but it's generally not a good idea to cause wanton destruction." *He pauses as some of the Prinnies carry in food* "Well, don't they get around fast." *He clears his throat* "Uhh, so yeah, not everyone here is looking for a fight. Remember, it's also a hotel."

Mist: "Everything regenerates. Destruction on the hotel will never stay permanent for more than a few minutes." *The Prinny explodes, and Mist frowns* "People regenerate too. But it's not recommended you abuse that. Most of the time."

Ike: *When the mysterious sword materializes just behind the group, he turns to look at it in alarm* "We weren't expecting that."

Mist: *She sighs, shrugging as if it was a normal occurrence. She turns to the sword, examining it* "Flonne, right? I don't think that's going to work." *She politely pushes the juice box away, walking right up to the sword* "You need someone to pull you out?"

Jade: *A small circle in the floor disappears, Jade and another man rising up from it just a moment later. The red-haired man with him, his bodyguard, is wearing a suit similar to Ike's, but his fits him a lot better. Jade looks around the room, his eyes landing on the floating objects in the corner*

Ike: *Practically gasps at the appearance of Jade* "Oh, uhh-"

Jade: *He holds up one hand, silencing Ike* "Don't worry, we seem to have a few extra guests than planned today." *He walks toward the objects, his bodyguard following*

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

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: Oh, you're right. I guess swords don't have mouths. *Sips juice and stays quiet likes a good child should*

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Shaking Sword: ...It's going to be a long day.

I'm not saying you have to USE the sword, twit! Just pick it up and hold it there for a couple of seconds. And I'll just be all BANG BANG, IT'S MAGIC and I guess you'll get it from there. My hobbies are dealing with idiots, being magical, and getting beaten by children. I'm not very good at the whole "love" thing. And I'd love to drink that if I could just GET OUT OF HERE. So, yes, I would appreciate some help here. Like, soon.

Objects: *go back to their standard position, accompanied by a disembodied voice; if there was a face to it, it'd be smirking apologetically* Sorry about that. Just admiring the scenery, is all. Not used to this kind of thing...or at least, I don't think I am.

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Etna: *Satisfied that the sword wasn't one of impending doom, she decided to play* You know, you're awfully talkative for a sword. I just need to pick you up right?

*With a devious and blaringly evil smirk on her face, Etna advances upon the sword, attempting to grab it and throw it out the lobby's door*

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Sword: *not really in the position to resist anything right now, so will get picked up and thrown out the front door, giving his best Jazz impression* AAAAAH! *the sword actually gets some distance, swearing as it flies*

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Pit: *sword lands at his feet, unsure of where it came from or who threw it*
Well that's...that's unnerving. Did I accidentally stumble into a battlefield?

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Sword: I can't really tell. Someone just kinda picked me up and chucked me out the door. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as they say. ...Would YOU mind getting me out of here? This place is already annoying the hell out of me.

...Hey, wait a second, don't I know you from somewhere? I'm almost positive I remember that voice.

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Pit: *blinks in disbelief* ... *looks all around him for whoever was speaking, until focusing his gaze back on the sword*
...that wasn't...nooo...who just said that?

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Ike: *Blinks, staring out the door* "Okay, well, I'll get to that in a moment."

Mist: *Shrugs, starting to leave* "Well, this is a bit much for today. See you later, Ike~"

Ike: *Sighs, turning back to Etna* "Your payment has been received, so there's no issue there. I'm required to show you to your rooms. You may request a tour if you desire." *He tugs at his tie*

Jade: "You're invisible. Why?" *He's smiling now, amused*

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Walking (or, more accurately, floating) along the trail is an individual of indeterminate appearance or gender. Upon reaching the cabin, the individual is a bit perplexed by the seemingly small size of the building, but is nevertheless certain that it has found the the place it was looking for. Seeing no harm in making sure, the individual bangs on the front door.

Mizuti: HELLO! Anybody be home now? The Great Mizuti's arrival has come to fruition!

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Etna: Oh good. I better have a great room, other people worked hard for that money I took. Oh, and you can just throw the prinnies where ever you want. They're pretty much just luggage.

Prinny #8: Harsh dood...

Prinny #7: No dood! Don't throw us, we'll explode!

Flonne: Aw, poor prinnies. Can't they have a room Etna?

Etna: Sure, we could always give them yours.

Flonne: But I haven't even seen mine yet! *Shiny puppy-dog eyes*

Etna: *Sighs, glancing back at Ike* Well then busboy, let's get this tour thing started. I'm a busy girl and I have lots of relaxation to do.

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Sword: Down here, buddy. See me jiggling at your feet? Yeah, that's me. Mind helping me out? I'm in a bit of a jam, as you can probably guess.
--
Disembodied Voice: Hrm, one second, this is gonna drain me a bit, but... *he focuses, putting all of his energy into keeping up a form for himself, until suddenly, he appears, although his form is a bit transparent*

The Main Thread Images%5C1354580_n_vir2

: That oughta do it. *he smiles* As you probably could have guessed by now, I'm not exactly among you "living" folk. Not anymore, anyway. ...I take it you own this joint?

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Pit: Uhh...no, I don't think I know any talking swords. Hmm...this seems like some sort of deal with the devil, to be honest.
"Free me from my bindings so that I may wreak havoc on this world."
*pulls it up from the hilt and inspects it closer*

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Jade: "Unfortunate. Or perhaps not. I'm sure it depends on how you see it." *He takes a moment, examining the ghost's waning form* "I take it you don't have permission to be here."

*Suddenly, his bodyguard reaches into his pocket. Jade shakes his head, stopping him from doing whatever he was about to do* "Not that I think you need it, right? I'm Jade Curtiss, owner of this fine hotel."
---
Ike: *He almost sighs, but stops himself* "Um, yeah. Let's get going." *He looks at Jade for a moment before hurriedly leading Etna and Flonne out of the lobby. After giving a succinct tour of the most basic things available, they find themselves at the living quarters. After a quick walk through a sitting room, Ike stops outside one of the rooms*

"You requested two rooms. They're right beside each other. Your luggage, if you had any, are already within."

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Sword: Devil? Aww, you flatter me. Just kinda raise me up to the sky for a couple of seconds, I'll be cool. You can keep the sword after that if you want. ...I'd prefer if you broke it, though. Thing really isn't very pleasant...
--
Sissel: Hrm, you're right. Maybe I left some money on other body...I'm sure there's some spare change lying around my corpse.

Being dead has its ups and downs, I guess. To be fair, though, if you asked me what I was like when I was alive, I wouldn't be able to tell you. *He grumbles a little and crosses his arms* I've got a pretty bad case of amnesia. I do remember my name, though. Call me Sissel; it's pretty much all I've got. *He smirks* I'd hold my hand out for a shake, but, ghost and all. But yeah, this place ain't that half-bad looking, though I don't have much else to go by.

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Etna: Oh, really? I'll go check. *With a not-so-trusting glare, she goes into her room. Instruments of destruction fly out.*
Devil Axe? Check. Tommy Gun? Yup. Rocket Launcher, Uh-huh. Gungnir, Maverick axe, Grenades... *She goes on and on. Ike should probably step out of the way or leave if he doesn't want to be covered into pointy dangerous objects*

Flonne, however, thanks the man.

Flonne: Thank you! I appreciate your hard work in showing us around. *She's smiling brightly and happily*

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Pit: ...*sigh* What's the worst that could happen? *holds the sword up over his head*

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Jade: *The bodyguard's brows raise in curiosity, yet he stays silent. Jade pays him no attention* "Alright then, Sissel. But just what brings yourself here? If you even know why, that is."
---
Ike: *He moves away from Etna's stuff, eying it all warily. When Flonne thanks him, he smiles for just a moment* "Ah, no problem. If you ever need anything, just contact one of the staff." *He looks away from her* "I mean, you will find just about everything within the mansion, just if you need help finding some of it..." *He trails off, awkwardly*

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: A-Anything?!

*Flonne looks wildly around herself*

What about a petting zoo? Is there a petting zoo?

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Sword: *after a few seconds, lightning strikes the sword, and out from a small jewel on the hilt comes a beam of light, which eventually takes shape and becomes everyone's favorite wind mage*

The Main Thread Vaati_(The_Minish_Cap)

: CHRIST, that was a nightmare. I thought I'd never get out of there...thanks though, guy, I owe you one...though it wouldn't kill you to spruce up that hair a bit. A change of clothes never hurts either. You look like you just fell off the back of a horse. Well, beggars can't be choosers, I guess. Congratulations, kid. You just summoned the greatest and most powerful wind mage who's ever lived! ...I don't expect you to bow or anything like that, though. This is a forest path so the road is kinda dirty. BUT WHEN WE GET INSIDE, THERE WILL BE BOWING. ...AND BEVERAGES. Preferably Sunkist.
--
Sissel: Admittedly, I'm drawing blanks...I was looking to find some answers, and I guess my search brought me here. I wonder why, though...

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Mizuti: *out of excitement, has exhausted itself from knocking so incessantly*

Ah... so that be how you want it. Fine, then, two can play that game.

*crosses its legs and sits in wait for a response from the door*

On one of the upper floors of the mansion, an elegantly-dressed woman enshrouded in a saintly aura can be seen staring through a large window. Whether she is lost in thought or merely basking in the moonlight, it is hard to say.

Palutena: ...

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Pit: Wha...what's wrong with my hair? And my clothes...?
Get inside where?
And...wind mage?
Sunkist?
Who ARE you?

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Jade: "Hmm..." *After a moment of thought, Jade nods* "Kieran, can you go see to the guests outside for now?" *After some hesitation, the bodyguard leaves them* "... I'm guessing you don't need food or water as a ghost. You're welcome to stay here if you wish. Just try not to disturb the guests..." *He smiles* "Or, maybe, do so if you want. Just try and avoid making people think my hotel is haunted."
---
Kieran: *Kieran the bodyguard opens the front door, finding Mizuti sitting in front of it* "Oh." *He grins* "Hi there! You look a tad strange. Who are you?"
---
Ike: "Oh, yeah. You'd be surprised at what you'll find, I think. There might be rooms even I don't know of."

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Flonne: Really??! *Dashes off*

Okabe Rintarou(?): *Walks up to Ike, tapping him on the back with a clipboard* Okay Ike, the tasks are complete. Locks registered, elevator checked and liscenced. All the lightbulbs on 3bA are screwed in properly, and the water tank filter has been placed in the Pool down on I1O.

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Vaati: Agh, so many QUESTIONS! Geez, kid, I'm a sorcerer, not an encyclopedia. ...Well, you freed me, so I suppose it's the least I can do. In order: Your hair looks disheveled as all hell, and you could probably use some sort of bath, personal hygiene never killed anyone. We're going to get inside the building where I was just thrown from, not too far up this path, and make a dynamic entry, obviously. Indeed, I am a wind mage. I'm a magic user that specializes in dark arts involving the winds. Tornadoes and storms and that kind of thing. Of course, I have much more magic at my disposal than just that. You'd be hard pressed to find an ally as powerful as I am!

...Y-you're kidding me, though. I mean, I wasn't expecting much, but to not know what Sunkist is...geez, what are they teaching you kids nowadays? What the hell kind of stuff are you watching on the magic picture box? What are you listening to on the music device? What the hell is on Joey's head?! ...Sunkist is the orange nectar of the gods, child. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful beverage that will ever have the pleasure of sliding down your esophagus, making every single one of your taste buds practically tingle with intense delicious flavor and UGH I need some, come on, let's hurry up! ...Oh, and by the way, you may call me Vaati. I'm the most powerful magician ever. Don't forget it.
--
Sissel: No, I don't require nourishment either. Or even a bed for that matter. I just get around by possessing objects...*his wavering form seems to hop between objects behind him, though his stance doesn't change at all; it's almost as though he's teleporting* ...And I'll do my best. Thank you, Jade.

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Mizuti: *sits silently for a moment before finally speaking - its voice is heavily distorted by its mask, but is nonetheless not hostile*

Yes, yes, of course. I be The Great Mizuti. And you be... the butler?

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Ike: *Turns to Okabe, a bit confused at first* "I, uh..." *He rubs the back of his neck* "Sorry, I'm still trying to learn about the naming system. I... Dad always said it would bite me in the butt. Guess he had a point, now..."
---
Kieran: *He makes a noise, sounding kind of like a 'Pfffft'* No, no, that's kind of like, Ike's job and stuff. I suppose I don't exactly know..." *His grin fades as he trails off, but after a moment, it's back again* "Ah, but, Ikey's busy right now, so I do need to help you inside. I'm Kieran, by the way."
---
Jade: *Nods* "Yes, it's no problem. Now, if you'll excuse me." *Bluntly, he turns away from Sissel, quickly exiting the lobby the way he came*

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Pit: ...you sure like monologues, don't you? *follows behind him* Vaati the wind mage, eh? Not so great though to allow yourself to get trapped in a sword, huh? *chuckle*

Anyway, you still haven't told me exactly WHERE it is you got hurled from. Mind filling me in on where we're going?

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Mizuti: Well, then, the Great Mizuti extends a hello to Kieran. This meeting is nice. Wonderful. A pleasure.

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Okabe(?): Well, that's what I'm here for. No worries, all you need to know is that everything is fine. *He frowns* I have been getting weird text messages lately. Telling me not to answer my phone. Isn't that a bit odd? Ah well, back to work.

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Vaati: ...You hush.

And honestly, I don't know myself.

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Pit: If you don't even know what it is...how did you end up there?

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Kieran: "Likewise! Haha." *He opens the door and steps aside, welcoming Mizuti into the lobby* "Nice, isn't it?"
---
Ike: "Uh, I guess it is. It could be just a prank, right?" *He shakes his head* "I have to get back to the lobby. I'll make sure to tell, ah... Jade, about the maintenance."

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Mizuti: The outer appearance of the building belies what be inside. The owner be a fan of trickery? Be this the only surprise?

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Kieran: "Oh no! You don't know?" *He follows Mizuti into the lobby, noting the disappearance of Jade and Sissel* "When something breaks in here, it can fix itself entirely. Well, usually. There's sometimes a few small things that the staff has to handle... Ah, but, yeah! Also, if you die in here, you can be revived too! Just make sure it's inside the building..."

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Okabe(?): Okay then, I'll be on my way. Later. *With a farewell gesture he parts.*

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Ike: *Waves goodbye as well, a bit awkward about it. He returns to the lobby, finding Mizuti and Kieran* "Oh, Kieran..."

Kieran: *He nods to Ike* "Ah, here Mizuti. This is Ike. He'll show you around!"

Ike: "Um, yeah." *He pauses, staring at Mizuti* "Kieran, there should be more outside. Do you mind...?"

Kieran: "I guess not." *He smiles, leaving the lobby to keep watch outside*

Ike: *He blinks* "You're not on the guest list, I don't think."

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Mizuti: Oh, there be a reason for this. It be quite simple. Plain. Clear as crystal. For you see, The Great Mizuti be not meant to be a guest, yet, technically.

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